Your name is ELIXES ZEPHIX, and you really wish we would LEAVE YOU ALONE. You are SIX SOLAR SWEEPS OLD, though you like to act much OLDER and MORE MATURE so that other trolls will TAKE YOU MORE SERIOUSLY. You are A SURVIVALIST, living in one of the MOST INHOSPITABLE ENVIRONMENTS CONTEARCE HAS TO OFFER. Due to your LESS THAN FAVORABLE living conditions, you have trained yourself to live off MINIMAL RESOURSES so you can get by when you're DOWN ON YOUR LUCK. You live in a SMALL, RUN-DOWN HIVE you found ABANDONED BY THE SEA CLIFFS. You chose to stay there instead of building your own hive because the location was favorable for your lusus, GAZELLE MA. Besides, you were NEVER VERY GOOD AT BUILDING.
Speaking of not being good at things, you're not very COMPUTER SAVVY, having limited access to ANY KIND OF TECHNOLOGY, and your friends often have to HELP YOU WITH SIMPLE THINGS that have to do with it. Though you are GENERALLY BAD with almost ANYTHING THAT HAS TO DO WITH COMUTERS, you do happen to be VERRY GOOD at RPG-STYLE GAMES. One of your favorites is VIRTUA-FLARP, a FLARP substitute that is SUBSTANTIALLY LESS DANGEROUS than the REAL DEAL. You don't mean to BRAG, but you happen to be a HIGH-RANKED MEMBER of one of the most PRESTIGIOUS VIRTUA-FLARP CLANS in existence, along with your friends optimisticMariner and troubadorableCleptomaniac. Unfortunately, your SCAVANGING LIFESTYLE paired with your MILD GAME ADDICTION has made you a bit of a HOARDER.
You make a living by MINING MINERALS from steep mountain faces, which you harvest by using your TRUSTY CLIMBING PICKS. It's dangerous work, but it PAYS WELL ENOUGH. You wish to one day LEAVE THIS FROZEN WASTE OF SPACE, but you have a FEW MORE SWEEPS TO GO until you can finally TAKE OFF and LEAVE THIS WRETCHED PLACE BEHIND. In the meantime, you have to just BUCK UP and MAKE DUE.
Recently, YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS have come into ownership of an EXCITING NEW GAME. You personally feel SOMEWHAT APPREHENSIVE, but almost ANYTHING would be better than your MONOTONOUS EXISTENCE.